WHEN SATURDAY COMES

“Prisoner Mullan, that’s you called for a visit.  Get yourself ready!” shouts the warder.  At last Damien Mullan heard the words he was waiting patiently for, announcing his weekly visit.  Every Saturday was the same.  He always woke earlier than usual and paced up and down his cell waiting for the 8 o’clock unlock.  When the warder eventually reached cell 16, Damien would be standing there with his towel, bar of soap and sachet of shampoo eagerly waiting to get a shower – he had to look his best for his visit.  He wouldn’t want his family thinking he wasn’t coping with prison life.  Damien was by no means a hardened criminal.   He was six months into a three-year jail sentence and had mastered the art of putting on a brave face and acting tough.

Breakfast was always skipped on a Saturday.  Damien had come to the conclusion that breakfast took too long to eat and it wasn’t worth the risk of him not being ready for his visit.  His best shirt and jeans were always pressed the night before and draped over his chair.  His shoes were buffed up and shining like two new pennies, leaving him just to get showered and dressed.  The weekly visit was the only thing he looked forward to, but this visit was special.  For six months Damien had waited for it and he couldn’t believe it was about to happen.  In less than one hour he would see his daughter for the first time and he just couldn’t wait.  The butterflies in his stomach were working overtime and he hoped the shower would settle him.

When Damien had been sent down for his part in an insurance claim fraud, Claire had been three months pregnant.  They had planned to marry that summer but work had been scarce back then and he had fallen into the wrong company.  You could say that he had been easily led, but he had wanted to be able to provide for his fiancée and the child to come.  Unfortunately the scheme had been rumbled and that was how he had ended up in prison.

He had heard about the birth of his daughter the previous Tuesday.  It had been a normal day for Damien, that was, until 2.30 pm when the warder had called him out of the bricklayers’ workshop to tell him he was a dad!  Claire had given birth to a beautiful, healthy 7pound girl shortly after midnight.  It had been the proudest moment in Damien’s life, the only down side had been that he was in prison and couldn’t be with Claire at the birth.  Nearly every prisoner on D wing had heard the news by 3.30 and if Damien had had his way it would have been on the 6 o’clock news!  He wanted the whole world to know.  That night after lock-up, he lay on his bunk trying to imagine what his daughter would look like.

Night-time was the hardest for Damien.  When the warder slammed the door closed at 8.30 pm, he never felt as lonely in his whole life.  With only a radio for company, Damien would lie on his bunk reading over old letters Claire had written to him.  He knew them all off by heart now, but reading them took his mind off prison and loneliness.  This was his oblivion.  This was also the time to stop putting on a brave face and acting tough.  After 8.30 pm Damien would relax behind the closed door.  This was the hardest part of his prison sentence.  This was when he missed Claire the most.  This was the time that Damien realised how much he had let Claire down.  Sleepless nights were a regular thing.

Being away from Claire and not being able to support her emotionally or financially was the hardest.  Both Damien’s and Claire’s families had helped them out in every way they could, but Damien had found this really hard to accept.  He felt it was his duty to her, so when he got a letter telling him his parents had bought a pram, or Claire’s parents had bought them a cot, he would have to hide the fact that he was embarrassed.  He was really grateful and appreciative, but prison had left him with a sickening feeling of uselessness.

Like most first-time parents, Damien and Claire had chosen names for the baby long before the birth.  For a girl they had agreed on Georgina Natasha.  This was something they had discussed on the weekly visits and it helped Damien feel more involved.

From Tuesday afternoon when he got the news, to the unlock on Saturday morning had felt like six weeks rather than six days.  He just wanted to hold his daughter Georgina and tell Claire how much he loved them both.  The shower never did much to settle him and, as usual, on a Saturday morning it was freezing.  Not that he minded, the whole process of getting showered and dressed was like preparing a microwave dinner – ready in two minutes flat.  At last the visits warder arrived.  The wait was over.  He was going to see his daughter.